“If you don’t set the tone fast enough, people know you reside in deafness and will subject you to such” – Me, Nadia Arain, The Spartanite
With HRH Prince Murat of the Napoleon Dynasty – of Pontecorvo – at Bal Des Deux Empires, Paris <3
One of the toughest things about Boundaries, is that it can take a lifetime to create them – and yet when you do, they come as easy as 123. Boundaries are how you expect to be treated and the line that protects you, because NO is a complete sentence within itself.
Like most – I went through a lifetime struggling to truly assert myself in a way that was respectable, honourable, and, – most importantly, effortless. As children, we’re not really taught boundaries, or certainly not allowed to have them because most people come from dysfunction, neglect, and, abuse. As humans – we’re encouraged to swallow people’s bad behaviour to keep the peace – because that is the ONLY way relationships function.
This – couldn’t be further from the truth.
Confrontation creates opportunity.
Start telling people point blank how they are behaving, and what you will and will not accept.
This comes with healing the brain from all the ways trauma has kept you small as a child, people pleasing, begging, and fawning to be nice so that abusive and toxic people do not target you as they see you as a threat. It takes a lifetime to unlearn, unblock – and to rid yourself of the habits and behavioural patterns that people see as a licence to run up all over you.
When you ignore yourself – you will only feel comfortable with those who ignore you. You will gravitate to people who dismiss you, humiliate you, and, invalidate you. Once someone shows this type of behaviour – leave immediately if possible and if not – plan your exit and leave at the best opportunity. When you show people what you’re willing to tolerate, they will make it a point to drag you through hell because you’re putting up with their bullshit. As soon as someone is rude to you, begin pointing it out because they are testing the water(s) to see what exactly they can get away, with.
Setting the non-negotiables, always comes with the yelling and screaming to begin with. When the brain is at capacity – the only way to say “enough” is to scream. I have never judged someone’s response this way – because I, myself have done it on occasion many years back in an unhealed state. It begins from here and as one heals, the assertion becomes better, clearer, faster – and dare I say, automatic and instantaneous.
Consistently working on your self-respect, dignity, and self-worth through tightening up your expectations and boundaries – will assist you in your non-negotiables because people respect what you inspect.
Often times, the concept of Self – has been so damaged and broken, we are simply unaware of what type of treatment we’re accepting from someone. Someone says something rude/dismissive and we sit there like a frozen frog because we’re too scared to say anything to the person – because the body is in a freeze state. You can find all the self-help in the world online or in person, however the key factor here is – as long as the trauma is still in your mind/body – you will not be able to stand up and respect yourself because you’re coming from that frozen state.
Sometimes you’re not treated well, because you’re below your station in life – and people know that about you, they see it and mistreat you because you’re not meant to be around common filth in the first place.
Keep growing, keep shedding what is not meant to be yourself – and enforce how to teach people how to treat you.
Bold Confidence is your birthright.
It’s time you stepped forward to claim it.
Luxury Magick & Elite Mentoring available for the bold and daring, looking to seek a personal reflection of deep clarity and a navigation on how to move forward with your goals. ❤️
