“If you are worried about the opinions of those who are irrelevant to your life and your power, don’t bother working with us. If you aren’t prepared or willing to shine in a manner than burns others who aren’t LIVING, with your BRILLIANCE, you’re free to quit Spartanite. If you’re still afraid of judgement and the stupidity of what others will think and say about your magickal work, I’d rather you wouldn’t waste your time and MINE, summoning me. If you cannot walk into a room full of strangers and talk about yourself, why are you even doing what you do?” — Clauneck
You say you want to change.
You say you want a better life.
You say you want your ideal partner, your ideal weight, your ideal business, and your ideal life.
But what is the evidence of this? You do not have to make a million dollar leap in one day. But one simple action in a day, will take you there.
Now that Clauneck has finished being a hard ass — I can speak my own piece, one human being to another 🙂
The reality is, transformation is painful. Healing is painful. Having to confront and face the truth hurts. Rejection hurts. Being judged hurts. All your own bullshit hurts. I remember being in pain all the time. The pain wasn’t from other people, sadly enough. That is the lie we tell ourselves. We always lie that others hurt us. The worst type of hurt, is self-betrayal. It’s when you hurt yourself by playing small and being around people who don’t have the fire of BRILLIANCE IN THEIR EYES. I remember how much pain this has caused me. I used to feel psychosis and shame all the time. It was the absolute horror of being blocked from myself. And I know many people reading this, will FEEL that PAIN.
Healing is not holding a crystal and meditating (although that’s nice). Healing isn’t drinking green juice every morning (although your cells love it!). Healing isn’t telling yourself that you will do it another day. Healing is feeling all that torture and showing up anyway. Healing is crying the 50th time and sobbing with the rejection you felt. Healing is acknowledging some wounds may never patch up, but you can find ways to heal them. Healing is bringing ALL the pain to the surface and near enough drowning in it. Healing is embracing your psychosis and your inner beast. Healing comes from facing your OWN shit, the stuff we are all so quick to point out in others — but it’s a reflection of US.
Healing is feeling like you want to throw up after your HIIT class, but 2 days later your body is slimmer and less puffy. Healing is getting up to cook when you would rather order take out and sit and eat it. Healing is the brave honesty when you’re meeting your death. Healing is digging through the emotional pain of your lover leaving, your parent dying, your business going bust, your pet with a terminal illness, your job that fired you, your debt that is killing you, your health that is suffocating you, your own mind that wants to eat you alive, your stomach growling when you haven’t eaten properly, your heart that is broken from being raped and molested, your spirit that is crushed by everyone who destroys your dreams, your project that is mind-blowing but cash strapped, your little lifestyle that looks perfect but you’re dead inside, your anxiety that numbs you, and seeing a life that looks like the aftermath of an earthquake, tornado, and hurricane combined.
Healing is all the power you have inside you, LONG after your mind and body have given up on you and left the building.
When you SELF DESTRUCT, the OLD YOU does not have a choice. HE OR SHE, MUST DIE for you to embrace a forward thinking mentality. You simply cannot grow in a place where you’re filled with fear but you’re comfortable.
Your comfort is literally fucking killing you inside. It’s slowly eating away you have ever wanted. It makes you HATE yourself, and creates more toxic narratives of DEEP AND UNFORGIVABLE SHAME inside yourself. Each time you say no to yourself, you’re strengthening this shame. The only way out of it is, either you kill this shame, or it kills you. And it often does. All disease and inflammation (DIS-EASE) has the root cause of shame, anger, and guilt that the body carries. You will have to destroy large parts of yourself and the world you’re currently in, to proceed. We can make and destroy worlds within a split second, if we know how to control our minds. You’re just going to have to take the plunge and do it.
Act on the decision that you’re sat on this fence, about.
Fence sitting gives your ass splinters and again, it goes back to what I am saying. The pain I felt, wasn’t from other people. It was from myself. It is the betrayal of yourself. The betrayal of “some day, another day”. Why not today?
I know it hurts you. It hurts so bad. You pretend it doesn’t hurt but you’re in that zone of pain. Please have the courage to FEEL this pain. No matter how strong you are, you are human and your pain, is actually what will provide the RITE OF TRANSFORMATION THROUGH SELF DESTRUCTION.
Drop into the void. Feel this damn thing until you feel you will explode. Give your body permission to feel.
Because, you’re either going to pay the price going INTO something, or getting out of it.
The choice, is only and always — up to, YOU.
I am here to help you, when you’re ready 🙂
For SERIOUS mentoring inquiries, spiritual/business consultations, writing projects and custom ritualistic work, feel free to reach out to me for assistance.