Emotional Healing + Connecting With The RIGHT People Through Self-Care

I am a huge aficionado of self-care. 


That no matter what happens in a day, I find something to keep me grounded, love, and safe. Some days, it can be a dance I do. Some days, I sit on the yoga mat and breathe deeply, some days I cry until I cannot breathe straight, other days I sit with someone and we speak openly about our struggles. A lot has been written about being “vulnerable” with people. It is not per se vulnerability that is the issue. Being emotionally open to people who will be nice and kind to you, is completely fine.


It is having the discernment to know who is what, is a place where people play wolves in sheep clothing. 


The body is clever, and always knows whom to trust. I have a deep, fidelity based love for the people I love, in layman terms, they would be considered “my clients” but I have a love for them based on service and helping them through their challenges. I always plan to serve people who come to me for LIFE, unless circumstances choose otherwise for us. And one of the hardest things I often came to discover was how cold and mean people in Business are, disguised under the pretext of being professional. You can easily be professional and have a loving heart, however that is too much of an ask for so many of today. I am often horrified when I have heard stories of people who simply haven’t been able to pay something and they were chucked out of programmes, or fired, or whatever. It is sad so many people in so many places, have totally lost their humanity. Unbelievable but so believable.


It takes GREAT COURAGE to open your emotional wounds filled with shame, failure, pain, heartache, loss, and grief — to someone who sits in front of you. No matter what story you tell yourself, at the end of the day, you are with yourself at night and you have to sit with things. Especially in a time like this.


The only thing you can always just hope, is that they will not dismiss you, and will listen to you and let you be. And the nicest thing in the world, is to do this for someone and to have someone do it for you. Each healthy person who loves with their heart, has these wounds and has things they struggle with. The key criteria is knowing someone’s INTENTIONS. Because once you know someone’s intentions, opening up (or not) becomes incredibly simple.


The best guidance I have here is this…


The more immature a person at an emotional and spiritual level, the less you need to bother opening up to them for support. The more mature and grounded a person, the safer you are with them. You will know this by your interactions with them. Shallow people cannot maintain themselves because they do not bother doing the emotional work to discover their own self, do not expect them to have any shard of maintaining you. Everything is funny and a joke for them, and henceforth in the face of real challenges — they will laugh, walking away and abandoning you. After all, they have abandoned themselves, have they not? It takes depth and internal strength to sit with someone’s challenges, and provide a place for them to feel safe with you.


We are uncertain times, undoubtedly. In a last bit attempt to destabilize the world economy, they have brought in a measure to create intense fear in unsuspecting people, so that all types of personal freedom are stolen from us as human beings. The measures they are using on people now, are not temporary. They are permanent. There is so much to write about, and I covered a touch of it in a few blog posts ago. Now is NOT the time to be fighting others on their race, religion, whatever. It’s us as humans, versus them. 


A normal functioning human being, will extend a healthy level of compassion to someone else. Yes, people snap and have bad days — but for the most part, you can get some sense out of them. If you cannot get ANY sense out of a person, you’re not dealing with a human being. You’re dealing with a sick soul-less entity that is simply trapped in a human body. There are many financially successful people whose eyes are DEAD, and that is because their humanity left them a LONG time ago.  I often go as far as saying they were never human in the first place. There is nothing humane about psychopathy. Which has become the increased norm everywhere.


When someone is humane, they will treat you with justice, kindness, and fairness — based on how they behave. Many have lost their honour — honour simply meaning that you will do as you say.


In today’s world, it is a relative surprise to find people who do that anymore. Genuine decent morality in a person, is an endangered character trait and people often think that those who are good and kind hearted, are weak, and gullible to be conned through vulnerability. This is why, I often advise people, have your heart and vet those who try to come in. You will know quickly based on how it makes you feel.


The biggest flex of self-care, is not trusting other people as this world likes shouting about.


It is trusting YOURSELF and having the faith, that no matter, you will never fail yourself 🙂