Abuse is never ever easy to write about.
Some women, have gone through far worse of what I have ever had to endure. There are women whom I am related to, who are being abused day and night and I cannot help them, because they won’t accept the help. Such is life.
I am a beautiful woman, with tonnes of grace, intelligence, and talent. My former abusers, tried their best to ensure that they stamped it out.
At 21, I met a man that felt like a dream. I knew him from previous lives and felt a bond to him that I didn’t know what to do with. I saw in his eyes the same bond but the bond infuriated him and worse of all, confused him. It meant I had sexual power over him and he both loved and hated it. Only many many years later, through the grace of God and 2 powerful Spirits, was I able to severe the trauma bonds I had to him, through psychic surgery.
Something that stopped my heart cold for a few minutes when they performed it (not seconds) and I felt consciousness leave my body and be replaced with something else. I was physically shaking and my voice stopped responding. I opened my mouth to scream violently as the pain was excruciating and no voice came out. My body went numb, cold, and blue, as I felt something being sliced out of me and then patched up. My physical heart and my heart chakra, had been torn by the Spirits to cut out (literally) the trauma bonds. Those Spirits saved my life and A & E, I don’t know how to thank you both. I genuinely loved this man, only to discover he was a bisexual narcissist, sadistic, a pervert, a sex addict (yes, including prostitutes), a serial gambler, a habitual cocaine user, and a thief. Finding the courage to leave him behind, was harder than the day my Father died.
My heart was big and beautiful. It still is 🙂 I really wanted to get married to him, because I loved him. It was a love that wasn’t even from this world and spanned far beyond what I could have imagined. He said many things to me to hurt me over the years, but Love Without PAIN, makes you weak. Today, I love fully and boldly with the PROTECTION of knowing what a predator is, and looks like. Once I said to God, “please I want to marry this man, I really love him”. I had to forgive the girl I once was, and her knowledge of this world as being naive. My guides kept blocking him consistently and today, I cannot be more than thankful ENOUGH that what I really wanted, never came to me.
HAD I got married to him mistakenly, he would have raped me, beat me, humiliated me, made me beg for money and food, stolen from me to buy drugs, gamble, and visit prostitutes and my life would have been one living nightmare of a hell. I psychically found the courage after the evil spirits left me (who wanted me trapped with him) to “tune in” to find out what would have happened. I saw myself giving birth shackled in chains to a bed he tied me to. There was blood everywhere and I saw him standing there over me, just laughing with 2 kitchen knives. Another vision, I saw myself marrying him. I excused myself to use the bathroom and the bathroom was one of those old, rusty, drug infested type bathrooms. I had come on my period and there was blood everywhere and the pain I was in, was inexplicable. I snapped out of it, full well knowing what I had escaped. The evil djinn that possessed him, would have ended up hurting me worse.
I knew he was going to build some sort of torture chamber (like the one in Gothika) to hurt more women. I had to stop him, and I did. I am relieved I did. A lot of men that are possessed hurt women, because scummy spirits hate the human race, and what better way to spread pain than to get a man to hurt a woman. But there are many many predators like him. At 23, I met another psychopath narcissist, the last of the psycho variety after which the evil spirits left me and I never can manifest these type of sick people in my life again. Same story. He would have violently beaten me, cheated on me (which they all did) and I was constantly afraid for my life. I found it a relief when he left me without warning.
People think that you can just wake up one morning and be done with abuse. I still clam up sometimes in public. I still have nightmares about being potentially raped, beaten, and murdered with my body parts chopped up. There are days I still cry when someone calls me beautiful. But worse of all, it is what I am psychically allowed to see of what I escaped, chokes me up the most. I know there are women who are living in hell, even as I write this out and I do my best to go back and throw the rope down, so all the women trapped — well, I know there is someone whom the rope is going to reach and I will be able to keep pulling women out.
Today, I am grateful for the life I live. Please, no matter what type of hell you may be enduring, THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE. I know the spider’s web is SO hard. I understand it. To break free, will sound impossible — but there are different levels of HELL, I have broken free from (not just abuse) and I can tell you, one tiny step, is the first step to freedom. 🙂
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