How To Create A Balanced Life Through Primordial Insanity, Chaos, and, Madness.

Balanced, are those who know how to embrace the Zero, with the Psycho.


Creating a balanced life does not mean one strives for Peace, and the Absolute, at that. It means striving for Inner peace in an inner world filled with insanity, chaos, and madness. Since the beginning of time, man has sought to understand himself and that inner struggle, is what causes all the lunacy on the outside.


All things in this world, are made from threads. There is a primal fabric of Life, (shall we say?), upon which the Tapestry of what you can see, is evident. Simply put, you can only see a cloth if the thread has been woven correctly and now it has a nice pretty design.


I remember an event in the summer, it was mid-30 degrees in London, with sweltering heat, I managed to find the little hotel it was being hosted in. I was around 10 minutes late due to taking the right turn from the station, instead of the left. I entered the room and everyone was sat in a circle on chairs. Scared, terrified, confused, realizing they don’t fit into the stupidity of this world but so frightened by the sheep who terrify them and make them tow the line, they end up stuck in lower matrixes and chase their own tail. Smiling politely, I found an empty chair and sat down. My breezy maxi dress was stuck to my leg from the heat and I silently admonished myself not to bring a 2L bottle of water, judging by the heat for the rest of the evening. The Divine has given me 2 ears and ONE mouth, so I listen twice more to others, than people know me for speaking.


One woman of Indian descent got up. She introduced herself and said “You know what, I just don’t know where I am going in life..” and she trailed off. I was quietly observing this room and the energy laden atmosphere of people moving from one hell of their life to the next. The organiser spoke on his own story and then told us to “pair up”. The Indian lady walked towards me.


“Excuse me, Miss! You caught my eye when you walked in. Although you were late, you were quite confident. Are you an Aries, by any chance? I also noticed you didn’t apologize and sat down comfortably.”


Clever woman.


I didn’t realise I catch women’s eyes as well. Silly of me to assume that was only a man’s domain of lustful gaze…


“I am not per se — I am an Aquarian woman, but my rising/Ascendant, is, Aries. Thank you for confirming you see for exactly what I show myself in this world, to be”


“I want what you have. I love your dress. What is your name?”


“I am Nadia and this dress? Well, I got it on my travels to the Asia-Pacific. However, I appreciate your compliment, as I love it too…”


“Not your dress! Although your dress is gorgeous! I want whatever energy you walked into this room with…”


I smiled. 


“Boldness. Boldness comes from embracing your insanity. And you’re too afraid to embrace your own madness, so you go from one event to the next. One business opportunity to the next. Ideas excite you easily and you jump on them, because you have never sat with your own madness. And out of madness, comes stability and balance. You live in the clouds and you need someone to slap you twice to bring you here into this world, so your ideas materalise and you don’t feel like a lost failure, aimlessly moving like a bowl of sushi at a restaurant conveyor belt. You hold yourself back for your family. Embrace the PRIMAL CHAOS. Stare it. Eat it. Fuck it. Live it. Only then, my dear, will you know a life worth living and an energy worth, having.”


I stopped when I saw tears well up in her eyes. I knew I had crossed a line that a stranger isn’t meant to cross within 25 seconds, staring straight into her eyes. I had told her far too much about herself.


“Ah yes, the dress you mentioned…. It’s roomy and breezy on a hot night like tonight! I want to drink that whole gallon of water in the back. I am quite glad I wore this…”




I looked at her.


“How do you know ALL that about me? No one has EVER condensed my entire life in 30 seconds and given me such clear advice? What are you? How the hell do you know I move from one business opportunity to another? How do you know I fight with my family all the time? How do you know I struggle with feeling insane? WHO ARE YOU?”


“There is nothing the eyes and the auric fields, hide. People consider themselves enigmas, and yet their entire tonality, words, speech, posture, optical grids, trains of thought, and current timelines, betray them… One does not have to be trained in Espionage to see reality for what it is. Reality is absolute, people have become blind to their own self.”


The rest of the scenario is void at this event — climatic as it is,  to discuss on the blog, so let’s get back to what we were saying 🙂


Primal Chaos is a healthy place to reside. All things exist and are in a consistent state of disintegrating. By pulling those threads, you will come to find insanity is normal. As a person, you ONLY feel insane when you are OUT of your carefully controlled construct. The biggest curse to unleash on a human being, is the curse of insanity — madness, and lack of control. For those of us who are comfortable with Insanity, it becomes impossible to phase a person. The system is crumbling as we know, and it is designed to crumble. To move from one state to another, to move into MASTERY OF YOUR OWN SELF, your primordial chaos is required.


The first place to begin, is shattering human illusion. 


Accept your entire life as it is, as one big fat lie — and real transformation can begin. 


Reaching for help, asking for someone to show you the torch in the pitch black midnight sky, isn’t for the faint hearted. It takes courage, guts, HUMILITY (of which most people simply will never have), and the ability to feel DISCOMFORT in a world where the majority hide in comfort…and then wonder why their dreams remain just that.


A dream.


It is impossible to face anyone else, if you cannot face yourself. Facing yourself, KNOWING YOURSELF, is everything.


Let me help you begin that new empowered story of SELF MASTERY. 


For SERIOUS mentoring inquiries, spiritual/business consultations, writing projects and custom ritualistic work, feel free to reach out to me for assistance.